Old Friends
by mara-rabb
Summary: FINISHED!
1. Default Chapter

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  


Old Friends

  


Chapter One

  


"God what a mess. Did I really think this was a good idea?" Kate muttered to herself as she waited in line to get into the JAG installation in Falls Church, Virginia. Finally it was her turn and she pulled forward and rolled down her window, handing her Identification Card to the guard. He looked at the card, it was completely regulation, and glanced into the back of her car.

  


"What's in the box?" he asked her.

  


Kate turned around and saw the black, hard plastic gun case. **Damn**. "It's a tranquilizer gun. I have all the paperwork stating that it's a necessary part of my work - it's in the glove compartment."

  


The guard gave her a hard stare and said, "Let's see it then." She opened the compartment and pulled out a small manilla envelope. She tried to smile as she handed both the case and the paperwork to him. **How could I have been so stupid? ** But she knew the answer. It was a part of her job and she carried it with her just about everywhere. No one had ever questioned it before. But then she didn't usually use the car when she went on base.

  


The guard returned the items and glared at her. "It looks like you have a valid reason for carrying it so I'll let you pass this time.."

  


**Wow! I didn't expect to get off that easily** and then she looked at the line of cars behind her and knew why. The documentation was obviously authentic but even so she was surprised that there wasn't more of a fuss. September 11 had made everybody jumpy.

  


Kate found a parking place and headed for what seemed to be the main entrance. She glanced down and wondered if she was dressed appropriately. Everyone seemed to be either in uniform or in their Sunday best. She was wearing a relatively new pair of jeans, a button-down blouse and her ropers. Oh well, this was what SHE always wore to work. It was just too hard to dress up - both on the clothes and on her feet.

  


Upon entering the JAG office complex, Kate handed her ID card to the receptionist. "I'm looking for Sarah McKenzie, please."

  


The receptionist barely glanced at her. "Do you have an appointment?"

  


"Do I need one?"

  


That got her attention. The receptionist scowled, handed the card back and pointed down the hallway. "All the way down at the end, they'll tell you where to go once you get there. If you don't have an appointment it's just as likely she's in court this morning."

  


This just seemed to be Kate's day for ticking people off. She hoped Sarah was in a better mood. As she reached the double doors, the doubts started. **What ARE you doing here? Why would she want to see YOU? Have you completely lost your mind? ** 

  


Kate pushed the doors open a little harder than she would have liked and walked into a beehive. There were people everywhere and they were all moving around. She must have looked a little lost because this incredibly tall and incredibly handsome officer approached her.

  


"Are you looking for someone?" he asked.

  


"I'm here to see Sarah McKenzie. Is she here this morning?"

  


"Colonel McKenize's office is the one in the corner." With the emphasis on the title.

  


Kate bit her tongue. **Let's see if we can tick off everybody, why don't we?** She wove around the desks and headed for the office he had indicated. The door was open so she peeked in. Sarah "Mac" McKenzie was digging through a file. Kate knocked lightly.

  


Mac looked up as if expecting someone, her expression changed to confusion. "I'm sorry, did we have an appointment this morning?"

  


"No, I just dropped by." **What did she say NOW? This was a terrible idea.** Kate could feel her heart pounding.

  


"If you're having legal problems, you probably need to see one of the clerks and they can make a report. We'll set your case and someone will contact you in a few days."

  


"No, it's not a legal problem. I guess it's kind of personal." Another attention getter, apparently.

  


Mac stared at her for a moment. "Do I know you?" she asked. She looked confused.

  


'You used to." Kate replied. "Think back probably more years than either of us wants to admit and add about 100 pounds. Does that help you any?"

  


Another long silence while Mac stared at her. Kate knew when she had figured it out because she could almost see the lightbulb appear over Mac's head. 'Oh my God. Kate! What are you doing here? How did you know..."

  


"I went home before Christmas. My mom apparently ran into your mom somewhere - she hits all the big flea markets looking for antiques.. She said you were working here. It was too strange. I drive by here every day going to work. Mom didn't know where you lived so I thought I'd just drop in here one day and surprise you. It took me this long to get up my nerve."

  


"Sit down and talk to me. I have to be in court in an hour, but I've got a few minutes. What are you doing in Virginia? And how did you get past the guard?"

  


Kate took a deep breath. This was MUCH better than she had ever imagined this would be. After the terrible fight they had the last time they were together, she had expected nothing better than hatred and silence. Granted it had been a long time, but it was a huge fight.

  


_"Don't marry him, Sarah! I've heard stories about him. He's violent. He's going to kill you!"_

_"Leave me alone, Kate. I'm tired of you trying to make all of my decisions for me. I will marry when and where and who I want to. You're just jealous because no one wants to go out with you."_

  


_The end of hours of arguing and screaming. After that attack, Kate left._ _There wasn't anything else she could say, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. Sarah knew how self-conscious she was about her appearance. She knew she was too fat but dieting was just too hard. She thought that best friends were supposed to be able to talk to each other about everything. But it didn't seem like they were best friends anymore._

  


I'll give you the short version since time is limited. Kate smiled. "I"m a vet at-"

  


"Were you in Kuwait?" said the handsome officer who had helped her earlier.. The tone of his voice and his body language said that he had been listening to everything they had said - and he wasn't buying any of it. It was all Kate could do to keep her mouth closed.

  


"No, I am not in the military," And he cut her off again.

  


"Then you can't be a veteran. Quit wasting time with whatever scheme you've cooked up and leave, NOW."

  


Kate had had about all she was going to take. "If you would let me finish a sentence, you might be smart enough to figure out that I never claimed to be a military veteran. However, I AM a veterinarian at the National Zoo."

  


Mac gasped, "You really did it!"

  


Now the man was the one who looked flabbergasted. "You actually KNOW her?" he asked Mac.

  


Mac smiled. "Harm, this is Kate... used to be Murphy. We were best friends in school."

  


"It's Hadway now."

  


Now Harm looked startled. "Kate Hadway? Dr. Kate Hadway?"

  


**Since when did she become THAT famous? The closest she'd come to any kind of personal publicity was when Steve and Terri Irwin shot some scenes at the zoo. She'd been on camera no more than 30 seconds .** "I'm the only Kate Hadway I know. How do you know who I am?"

  


From the bullpen, Kate heard a familiar voice, "Harm are we still on for lunch?"

Kate felt her stomach clench. What was THAT woman doing here? And oh my God, she's coming over here. She's talking to HIM. Damn and I would have thought he'd have better taste than that. She glanced over at Mac who looked just as confused. 

  


"Harm, how do you know Kate?" Mac asked.

  


"I don't know her, but apparently I've heard quite a lot about her lately." he replied.

  


Kate watched the blonde teeter up to Harm on those impossible shoes she insisted on wearing. **I bet he has heard a lot,** she thought. **How do I get myself into the stupid situations?**

  


As she latched onto Harm's arm she smiled at Mac and started to greet her. Then she saw Kate and she stopped mid-word.

  


"What are YOU doing here?" she spat at Kate.

  


Kate took a deep breath, counted to ten and decided that she could be civil. She didn't need to come off as a bitch here. Now she understood why her name had jolted the man. "I was visiting an old friend, Renee. Obviously it's a small world." She tried to smile pleasantly.

  


Renee apparently decided to keep the truce she offered. "So it seems. Harm, " she changed the subject quickly, "are we still on for lunch?" Harm apparently decided that discretion was indeed the better part of valor and steered her out of Mac's office.

  


"We'll talk later," was all he said. Kate was unsure if that was aimed at her or at Mac.

  



	2. Chapter Two

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

CHAPTER TWO

Mac chuckled. "I needed that this morning. One of these days you'll have to tell me what you did to her. I don't think I've ever seen her that venomous!" She glanced at the clock on her desk. "I've got to leave in about 20 minutes to meet my client and I really need to go over my notes one more time. Could we get together another time?"

Kate smiled. "We'd love to have you come out to our place. Maybe this weekend? We have room in the house, or if you'd like a little more peace there's a small guest house out by the barn. I keep it stocked for company and it's got full cable, internet connections and telephone. You're dog is welcome to stay with you or he can play with my beasts if that makes him happier."

"Wow! That sounds great and for once, I don't think I have anything planned. Give me a map and tell me when you want us to be there."

"For once I'm ahead of you. I drew up directions complete with phone numbers and everything. I'm SUPPOSED to be off duty this weekend, but that doesn't always mean anything. If I'm not around when you get there, the kids will be happy to entertain you. I'll try to call if I'm going to be really late. Maria will let you know." Kate pulled out the paper and handed it to Mac. "I'd better be heading to work too - I told them I was going to be late, but with the beltway traffic it could be quitting time before I actually make it."

"See you Friday," Mac said when she left. **This could be a lot of fun,** Mac thought as she gathered her paperwork into her briefcase.** I wonder what her husband is like.**

*****************************************************************************

Later that afternoon, Harm strode into Mac' s office. "What was that all about this morning? And what did she want?"

"She's an old friend, Harm. She was my best friend for years. We had a terrible fight and I guess we both went our separate ways."

"So why is she here now? Look, I know Renee isn't always the easiest person to get along with but apparently your friend is worse. She tried to ruin Renee's career." Harm walked over closer to Mac's desk and leaned over. "I just want you to be careful. Don't let her take advantage of you."

"I'll be fine, Harm." Mac smiled. "Not get out and let me get some work done."

*****************************************************************************

Driving home from work Friday afternoon Kate wondered what the weekend would bring. Mac had seemed glad to see her and had actually taken her up on the offer to come out to the farm. The kids had been threatened beyond all belief to be on their best behavior this weekend, and Maria and Juan had been reminded that there would be an extra guest. **Maria is such a perfectionist that I don't even have to worry about THAT, at least. She keeps the guest house as clean as the rest of the place even when no one stays in it for months.**

Kate sighed as she crawled along in the afternoon rush. **THIS is why I like living in the country!** Peace and quiet was hard to come by on the crowded east coast. Sometimes she missed the huge hacienda they had rented in Killeen, but when the job at National Zoo had come up it was too good to pass up. It looked great on her resume too. Maybe someday she could take Steve and Terri up on their offer to let her work at their zoo, but she wasn't ready to immigrate anywhere right now.

Finally Kate turned into her driveway and was pleased to see a shiny red Corvette, **WOW! Sarah's got great taste in cars!** parked in the driveway. There didn't seem to be a lot of movement around so everybody must be inside. Getting out of the car, she braced herself for the daily greeting. She wasn't disappointed. The back door to the house banged open as her children and dogs came running outside. As they swamped her with affection, she saw Mac step through the door watching with great amusement.

"Does the happen frequently?" Mac asked. She couldn't imagine living with that kind of turmoil for very long.

"Only daily," Kate laughed. "You'd think I was gone for weeks. Have you met the troops?"

"I just got here," Sara replied. "I think they were trying to show me around, but there seemed to be some confusion where we were going to start."

  


**I can only image what kind of disaster this has been...wait, she's smiling maybe we haven't ovewhelmed her too much...**

  


"First things first, I think. Have you decided if you want to stay in the guest house, or do you think you can put up with these hooligans?"

  


"Kate, your children are wonderful, but I think the guest house would be best for everyone if you don't mind." Mac answered. She was still a little awed by what she was seeing. **How many acres was this place? And right outside of Falls Church. Heaven only knows how much she paid for it - and do vets actually make that much? And the kids... who had four kids these days?**

  


"I'm sure introductions were missed. The oldest, Jason, is 13, next is Heather (7), Connor (5) and Megan is 3. Jace, please get Miss Mackenzie's luggage out of the car... and stop drooling over I it or you'll be washing it tomorrow... Take her things to the guest house for her. The rest of you need to get in the house and get cleaned up for dinner. I want to check homework when I come inside. Heather, you take care of Connor and Meggie." Kate looked at Mac and smiled apologetically.

  


"Let me show you around the place. After the kids go to bed we can sit down and actually visit for a while. "

  


******************************************************************************

By 10:00 all the kids had been hugged, kissed and sent to their rooms. Jacen was still up and watching a movie, but Kate had promised he could put himself to bed whenever he got ready. Mac and Kate were sitting in the beautiful living room with cups of tea. Kate had offered to open some wine, but when Mac explained her difficulties she switched easily to tea. Kate had her shoes off and her feet on the coffee table.

  


"So Sarah, what ever happened with Scott?" Kate knew it was a touchy subject, but she figured she might as well dive in head first.

  


"Gee, you don't give up do you?" her voice sounded angry, but she was smiling. "It all came to a head about a month after the fight. He went out with his buddies and got drunk, came by the house at 3:00am and wanted me to go parking with him. I told him it was too late and I didn't feel like it. We argued for a few minutes and things got out of hand. Scott got all bent out of shape and really beat me up. _I'm the one in charge and you'll do what I tell you to _... and all of that garbage. All of a sudden all the pinches and slaps that I had brushed off become more threatening. All the anger that always seemed directed to me... All the times he had yelled and cursed at me for spending more time with you than I did with him... I just knew you were right and I had to get away. I ran away for a while and lived in and out of the shelters. I saw you at Eddie's funeral so you know about that," Kate nodded, "then I met another guy, named Chris. We had a very short, very drunk and abusive marriage. When it all got to be too much, I called Uncle Matt and he came to pick me up. I finally made the decision to go to college and got a military scholarship when I joined the Marine ROTC..." Mac briefed Kate on her life between high school and JAG, and ended with, "Then after Harm's F-14 crashed during our rehearsal dinner Mic couldn't deal with Harm being my best friend. He left and went back to Australia." She smiled. "So what have YOU been up to and how on earth did you manage to get all of this?" Mac waved her arms around.

  


Kate eyed Mac critically, "Why don't you tell me what the real story is behind you and Harmon Rabb."

  


"What on earth are you talking about? I told you he is my best friend." But Mac couldn't look her in the eyes.

  


"Don't lie to me Sarah MacKenzie. I've got four kids and can spot lies, fibs and mis-directions from a mile away. I have a lot of friends too and there aren't any of them that I would follow into a war in Russia at the expense of my career. Let's not go into all of the minor scrapes you've told me about, " Kate raised her hand to stop Mac from interrupting, "much less become such a threat to my fiancee that he left me and called off the wedding. You don't have to admit anything to me unless you just want to, but you need to work on those answers for yourself before you wake up some morning 20 years from now and regret it."

  


Mac could only stare at Kate. "And quit looking like I just shot Jingo. There is a lot more there than you're admitting. On both sides. All it would have taken in your office was for you to look just a little bit uncertain and he would have tossed me out of there on my ass. I've only seen you guys together for less than five minutes and the air in your office was sizzling. If you to are like that all the time, I'm not sure how anybody in that building gets any work done."

  


"But Renee..." Mac tried to recover her senses.

  


"Renee is looking out for Renee, I promise. She's a flightly little bird who has to have a date equally beautiful. Not that I don't think she cares about him - I heard her yammering on her cell phone for a week - but she wouldn't have looked twice if he wasn't drop dead gorgeous."

  


"So you noticed," was all Mac could come up with.

  


"While you work on all of that, I'll answer all of the questions I didn't get to in your office, and the maybe even the ones you've wanted to ask since you've been here." Kate smiled.

  


"Deal," Sara h smiled.

  


"I'll start with the easy part -Renee. Apparently she is supposed to be some kind of hot-shot commercial producer. The Board of Directors had seen her Navy commercial with your Commander a couple of years ago. Lately, the zoo has been losing money and they wanted to try to prop up the image a little. They hired Renee to do for them what she did for the Navy. Sounds simple, right?" Mac nodded.

  


"Well, apparently they didn't give Renee much of a budget to work with and even less time to get it done. She showed up one Monday morning on the assumption that she was going to film immediately. Part of MY job description as head vet says that any contact between animals and the general public must be carefully supervised and documented. I busted her bubble pretty quickly when I told her I needed written documentation stating what animals she needed for her shoot and what she intended to do with them."

  


"I'm sure that didn't go over well," Mac said.

  


"That's only the beginning. The woman had apparently never been to a zoo and didn't even know what animals we had. I spent the better part of the day showing her arou nd and pointing out some of the smaller details about the animals. Then she waltzes in the next morning with her list of animals and this disaster of a script."

  


Mac smiled, "I think I remember Harm talking about this project. She was driving him nuts too."

  


"Do you remember... I don't know what they were selling, but the basic concept was a bunch of wild animals in a bar socializing?"

  


"Yeah, sort of.

  


"This was the general idea she had to promote the zoo. Get a bunch of animals together in a tour bus talking about all the wonderful things they had seen. Then she hands me the list. Bengal tigers, lions, giraffes, zebras, and a polar bear. I tried to explain to her that these are wild animals. They are not used to a lot of human contact and most certainly aren't trained like the ones they use in the commercials. I tried to explain that the commercials she wanted to imitate had shot the animals separately and put them together in the cutting room. I got a lecture that she knew what she was doing - that they had given her a dinky little budget and the timeline was far too short for all that technical nonsense. She started giving orders to the zookeepers to bring all the animals out at once and I had to step in. I told them if anyone followed her instructions they would be fired. She was furious. I think she went in and complained to the Board of Directors because they called me later that afternoon. Once I explained what she wanted to do, I think they told her that if anything was going to happen with their animals, it would only happen with my cooperation and approval because she came in the next morning and begged for my forgiveness. We finally managed to get a commercial together, and it seems to have improved the attendance at the zoo, but I know she hates me and after trying to beat some common sense into her head, I don't have a lot of respect for her either. She lost money because it just took too long to put the thing together. And I think they've all talked to their "good-old-boys" clubs and slowed down some of her engagements." 

  


"That's kind of the impression I've gotten. Harm complained about how moody she was for a long time after the zoo commercial came out." Mac commented.

  


"Now I guess you want the story of me, huh?" Kate asked. Mac smiled and nodded. "I left your house that night feeling really rotten. I didn't think anything I had said had gotten through your thick skull, I had lost my best friend, and I didn't really know what I was going to do. I had applied to several colleges and had been accepted by all of them. I hadn't committed to any of them and I wasn't sure if I still could, but I decided that I'd go ahead and call Texas A&M and see if I could enter in the fall. I moved to Texas and did my undergrad work in Biochemistry. I knew I wanted to apply for vet school so I worked in the clinic, volunteered at a couple of local clinics and worked my ass off trying to keep my grades up. I took an Animal Science class for fun and the lab let us ride horses. I had a blast. I took it again the next semester taking the advanced lab and learned to jump. My junior year I met this really great guy. He was in the Corps of Cadets, was getting ready to graduate. He was SO gorgeous, all muscles and testosterone." Kate sighed at the memory. "He was talking about trying to go Special Forces... maybe Delta, you know, the regular adrenaline junkie. He had already learned to skydive, had a pilot's license, climbed every rock he could find... I was hooked. The best part was that he supported everything I wanted to do and didn't seem to mind the amount of time that I had to spend on homework. He'd go with my up to the clinic at nights to help me feed and clean cages. He drug me around with him to all of his clubs and parties. Get this - I even got my pilot's license because he was in the flying club.

  


He graduated and did his OBC stuff, tried out for SF and got it... he was thrilled. Then he got orders to Korea about the time I was ready to start vet school. We'd seen each other as often as we could manage but it wasn't enough. He asked me to marry him. I was floored. I wanted to do it so badly, but I didn't want to quit school either. He said the tour was unaccompanied anyway and he'd try to come back and go to Texas even though SF was based out of Fort Bragg. We got married, spent two nights together and he left. Six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I made it through vet school with a child but it was tough. I know I did some things that if the police had ever found out I would have lost him. I went to work after Jace went to bed at night - it was just a couple of hours - but still. I graduated and within weeks I was pregnant again. Even though my specialty was in exotic animals I did enough work in small animal and horses that I was able to find jobs in vet clinics everywhere we moved. By the time Connor was born we were at Fort Hood and I'd managed to get on at the Waco Zoo, and was on call for the San Antonio zoo and the ones in Dallas and Fort Worth. I was pretty sure by this point that Kyle was more than a little bit unfaithful. I all but caught him in the act one afternoon when I came in from Dallas. Traffic had been light and I got back much faster than usual and as I opened the front door I heard the back one slam. He was upstairs in the middle of the day getting dressed in the same uniform he'd worn that morning. I wanted to believe that I was wrong so I let it go. Then about the time I got pregnant with Megan I got a call from one of his girlfriends. I kicked him out of the house and started divorce procedures. In Texas they won't finalize it until the baby is born so they can nail him for child support. She was about three months old when we were supposed to be in court to finalize the divorce. He was late. Kyle was being an ass and insisting on joint custody and between his lawyer and the judge they decided reschedule. By the time I got home there was a State Trooper on my doorstep telling me that he had been killed when he ran a red light on his new Harley. So instead of being divorced, I became a widow. He hadn't changed his will so I got everything. Really ticked off his new 21 year old girlfriend." Kate laughed.

  


"Good grief," Mac said. "And when did you come here?"

  


"After that I was ready to get out of Texas. The real kicker was when they read his will and I found out that not only had his parents been killed in a plane crash but that his dad had been on the Board of Directors at Boeing. There was money and accounts that I had no idea about. I wondered how he managed to afford the house and the land. It never occurred to me that he might be rich. When he hired Maria and Juan I asked him how we could afford it. He just told me not to worry and I didn't. I had kids and a career to take care of. Anyway, after he died, I started applying for jobs in other states and out of the blue I get an offer to come to DC. I didn't see that I could turn it down so I packed up the animals and the kids and moved to Virginia. When I got settled in and school started I had a hard time finding anyone to watch over the kids so I wrote back to Maria and asked if they would come here if I provided them with room and board. They moved into the mobile home, they eat with the family, I cover most of their bills - the only thing they pay for is the phone."

  


"But how did you get this place? It's huge!" Mac asked.

  


"That was pure luck. The couple who owned it had gone into an assisted-living center and their kids had just put it on the market when I came out to go house-hunting. It's 20 acres and the property had been in their family since something like the Civil War, but the kids lived in California and Washington State. They didn't have any use for the property so they sold it, pretty much as it. They took some of the heirloom pieces, but most of this is original furniture. The guest house was here but it was empty so I took the stuff from our house in Texas and fixed it up. Getting the payments down to something that I could actually afford meant that I spent more than I should have out of the trust fund from Kyle. I had to really wheedle and beg with the trustee, but he finally agreed it was a terrific place to raise kids."

  


"So have you figured out what;'s going on between you and Harm?" Kate smiled.

  


Mac made a face. 'You are tenacious," she sighed. "OK, I give up. I love him and I think he cares about me too, but somehow we can't seem to get on the same track at the same time."

  


"And the problem is...? "

  


"He and I are probably the most emotionally train-wrecked people I have ever met. We both come from a string of bad relationships and I think we're both afraid that if we get to close it will all fall apart. He's my best friends and I can't imagine life without him... and what happens when he dumps me like everybody else has? Good Lord, what am I doing? I don't ever tell these things to people!" Mac was blushing.

  


"That's what girl best friends are for. To talk about the things you can't tell the guys." Kate smiled. "It's after 2, why don't we call it a night and we can go for a ride in the morning?"

  
  
  
  



	3. Chpater Three

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

...

  


Chapter Three

  


"Good morning, Colonel! How was your weekend?"

  


Mac looked up from her computer and found Harm lounging in her doorway. "We had a blast, thank you." she smiled. "It was like the fight never happened and we just picked up where we left off."

  


Harm nodded. "So is she your best friend again?"

  


Mac thought about what Kate had said about friends. "Harm, you're my best friend. Maybe she's my best GIRL friend."

  


Harm didn't look convinced. "What did you guys do all weekend?"

  


"We sat up late, remembered all the trouble we used to get into, talked about what has been going on since high school, we went for a trail ride on Saturday..."

  


"Horses kind of trail ride?" Harm interrupted.

  


"What other kind is there? Of course horses. Kate's got six horses, four dogs - Jingo had a ball too! - a parakeet, rabbits and ducks." Mac smiled. "It's a good thing she's a vet. Her bills would be outrageous."

  


"I thought you didn't like horses?" Harm asked. "What is the deal with women and horses? Great big hairy beasts with brains the size of walnuts, for pete's sake."

  


"There's something about having all that muscle and power between your legs..." Mac smiled as Harm stared at here.

  


"I think it's time I left!" He turned and started out the door.

  


"I invited her to join us at McMurphy's Friday night. You might want to apologize." He stopped and turned to look at her. Then left the office without saying anything.

  


*****************************************************************************

Friday night

  


Harm and Mac walked into the bar, looking for their co-workers. Spotting Harriet and Bud, they worked their way over to the table. Mac looked for Kate but didn't see her.

  


"I thought you had asked Kate to be here," Harriet asked. 

  


"Something must have come up. I haven't heard from her in a couple of days." Mac answered.

  


Harm went to the bar to pick up drinks for everyone. When he came back they all sat down and relaxed. It had been a long week. They talked some, listened to the music some. As they were beginning to get ready to leave, Kate managed to straggle into the bar.

  


"Hey, sorry Sarah. We had an emergency - two of the zebras got into a kick fight. One of them was torn up pretty good. Then I got stuck in beltway traffic, and well... you know how that is." 

  


They all nodded sympathetically. Mac stood up and made the introductions. "You saw all of these guys when you were in the office, but just to make it formal," everyone smiled, " this is Lt. Commander Harmon Rabb, Lt. Bud Roberts and Lt. Harriet Sims-Roberts. The Admiral had other plans this week, but he usually joins us. Everyone, this is Kate Hadway, head vet at the National Zoo."

  


Kate nodded and murmured appropriate acknowledgment. "You guys looked like you were getting ready to leave, and I'm running late as it is. I really just wanted to drop by and let you know that I didn't forget. Maybe we can do this another time. " Kate smiled.

  


Harriet volunteered, "We usually meet here every Friday. You're welcome to join us whenever you like."

  


"Thank you, Harriet. I promise not to intrude too much, but I appreciate the invitation."

  


They all put on their coats and walked out together.

  


Bud asked, "Colonel MacKenzie said you had four children. How do you manage that being a single parent?"

  


Kate laughed. "I don't think I manage it very well at all. A lot of days we run on survival mode. Actually, I have a great couple helping me with the kids, the farm, the house..." I couldn't do it alone at all. You guys are all welcome to come out one day. Juan is a champion BBQ'er."

  


*****************************************************************************

  


Several months later, beginning of August. Kate was accepted by Mac's JAG co-workers. She joined them occasionally on Friday nights and they had been out to the farm on a couple of occasions.

  


******************************************************************************

  


Kate walked into MacMurphy's and waved at her friends. "Sarah, you have got to take vacation at the end of the month! Texas A&M is playing Navy at the season opener in College Station on August 23. I keep a standing reservation at the Hilton for all of the home games and I have season tickets in The Zone. Tell me you'll go - Jace usually goes with me, but he's got a scrimmage that night."

  


Harm looked at her sharply, "Shouldn't you be going to watch him play?" He had warmed up to her considerably since the first visit, but he was still willing to corner if an opportunity presented itself.

  


Kate laughed. "When the real season starts you couldn't keep me away. Actually I offered to skip the trip this time and he insisted I had to go. He's really the only one of my kids interested in ball, so if I'll have to go alone if Sarah won't."

  


Mac sighed. "I already put in for my vacation for the first of September and I've got reservations for a week in Florida." 

  


Harm looked at her swiftly. "When were you going to share that with the rest of us?"

  


Mac grinned. "I'm taking Chloe to Disneyland on Labor Day. Want to come?"

  


"Ugh. I think not. I'll leave that up to you two."

  


Mac got an evil look in her eye. "Why don't you take Harm? He loves football and he graduated from Navy." Kate and Harm almost popped a crick in their respective necks as they gaped at Mac.

  


Kate was the first one to recover. "Hey, if he wants to go that's fine. I guess."

  


Harm wasn't convinced. "This is in Texas. How were you planning to get there? You have one room reserved and if College Station is as small as I think it is, getting another room at this date would be difficult."

  


Kate smiled. "Don't worry about transportation. That's all taken care of. I was going to take Jason, remember? As for lodging, that can be dealt with as well." **Maybe,** she thought, **I can use this to Sarah's advantage and put some well placed bugs in his ear. This could even be fun.** "We would leave Friday night after work and come back Sunday afternoon."

  


Harm was tempted. He was more than a little put out that Mac hadn't told him about her upcoming trip to Florida. How he could have managed to tag along, with Chloe much less, he wasn't sure. But surely there was some kind of payback due.

  


"Hey, we could fly up there in the Sarah, " he offered.

  


"I've heard about that plane, Harmon Rabb, Jr. I've also heard about all the disasters that seem to occur when you're flying. I think I'll pass. Don't worry - it's taken care of. You haven't said if you want to go, but I can meet you at JAG after work and drive out to the airport. I'm going to be off all day anyway."

  


Harm thought about it. **Why not? I haven't actually been to a game in several years.** "Sure, sounds like fun."

  


*****************************************************************************

August 22

  


Kate pulled up to the guard gate and presented her ID card. It was the first time she had returned to the JAG installation since spring, but this time she made sure the inside of the car was clean. She grinned as she remembered her last trip here.

  


She parked the car, she was driving the Expedition this time, and made her way into the JAG offices without any trouble. Harriet waved as she entered and pointed out Harm's office. Kate walked to the door and peeked in. "Knock, knock?"

  


Harm looked up. "Is it that late already? Hang on a sec and let me get finished."

  


"I'll go visit Sarah for a minute then."

  


As she walked over, Mac saw her through the blinds and waved. "You guys getting ready to go?"

  


"Whenever he manages to get ready," Kate replied. "You know, don't you, that you don't have anything to worry about from me this weekend?" she looked concerned.

  


Mac laughed, "If I thought that I wouldn't have suggested it in the first place. After talking to you and finding myself spilling my guts at the first question, I suspect this trip might be educational for all of us."

  


"That's exactly what I was planning," Kate chuckled. "He won't know what hit him. Oops, looks like he's ready. I'll call you Sunday night."

  


*****************************************************************************

  


Kate turned off into the driveway for Spectrum Air Services. Harm glanced at the name of the airport and looked back at Kate, confused. "You didn't do something stupid and charter a flight?"

  


Kate laughed. "Don't worry. I have it all under control.

  


She heard Harm mutter under his breath, "I have a bad feeling about this." Kate pulled into a parking space. She got out of the truck and begin to unload their luggage. Harm still looked confused as a gentleman left the building and began to walk toward them.

  


"Everything is ready, Miss Hadway. Just let me know when you get ready to leave." he turned and walked back to the offices.

  


"This way, Harm." Kate smiled. She was going to enjoy this. She led him around to the hangars and stopped by a Lear 35. She opened the side door and tossed her suitcase inside. You can ride in back or, since you're a pilot, you can sit up front if you like." Then she walked off and proceeded to double check all the preparations. She glanced and noted that Harm looked like he'd been hit by a train.

  


"But... how... You're a pilot?" he finally managed to find his voice.

  


"I thought Sarah would have told you. I took flying lessons in college with my husband. When I got this I had to go back and upgrade my license, but it was worth the effort."

  


"But this isn't your normal personal aircraft..." Harm was still looking like he didn't believe what he was seeing.

  


Kate laughed. "My grandmother left me a sizable inheritance. The last thing she said before she died was that I was supposed to use it for something incredible. Her exact words. She told me I would know it when I saw it. I put it away and pretty much forgot about it. Until a friend who's a large animal vet in Houston called me last year. When Enron went belly-up and they auctioned off all of their properties she was interested in some of their computer systems. She saw this and she called me. I knew then that this was it. I told her how much I could afford and she bid on it for me." Kate grinned like a kid in the candy shop.

  


Harm shook his head. "I'm not sure this is what your grandma had in mind, but it most certainly is incredible."

  


Kate finished her checklist and looked at Harm, "Are we ready?"

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  


Chapter 4

  


Once they were airborne, Harm turned in his seat and looked at Kate. "Are you always this surprising?"

  


Kate smiled. "I don't have a clue what you mean."

  


Harm sighed. "You put on this good-old-country-girl act, but.." he paused to collect his thoughts, "you're living on an unheard-of amount on land that is basically within the DC metroplex, you have three cars, a jet that Mel Gibson would be happy to own..."

  


"And I have a housekeeper/nanny and a gardener, right?" Kate made a face. "None of it is what it seems. Most of the money my husband left us is tied up in trusts, and what isn't has got a list of rules that it would take your whole office to unwind. There is a set amount that we are allotted monthly for living costs. That goes to pay for the house and the land. I stumbled onto it when we moved here and it just seemed like a healthier place to raise kids than right in the middle of the deadliest city in the United States. Fortunately the trustees agreed. 

  


"Juan and Maria only get $500 month for the both of them, less income tax and social security - which is less than I would pay for childcare and after school care for four children. I bought their home and I pay most of their utilities.. They eat with us so they have very little to purchase in the way of groceries. 

  


"The truck was Juan's when they came to work for us. He uses it to pull the horse trailer - that Kyle and I bought early on, haul hay and that kind of stuff. Kyle bought the Expedition when we moved from Bragg to Hood. My car was shot and we had enough kids and dogs to need the space - he paid cash for it. I bought the Grand Prix after we moved here. The gas mileage on the truck was eating me alive, but I needed something spiffy enough to haul donors around in occasionally.

  


All of it is smoke and mirrors. We could live on my salary, but not nearly this well. I grew up almost the same way Sarah did. My dad was an enlisted Marine and my mom took jobs for a paycheck - she waited tables, checked groceries... We weren't ever POOR but we were probably not quite middle class either. The difference between me and Sarah is that I knew with every cell in my body that my parents loved me. Even after they divorced they were both always available if I needed them."

  


"She doesn't talk about her childhood much," Harm commented.

  


"And neither will I, so quit fishing." Kate looked at her watched and noted that they had almost two hours before reaching Texas. 

  


"Why is it that the two of you haven't tied the know and raised four or five kids?"

  


Kate could see the shutters close on Harm's face. "What makes you thing we should do that?"

  


Kate snorted un-gracefully. "Don't give me that crap. Do you not realize that everybody else notices you? The way you look at each other, the way you tease and fight? You guys act like you've been married for 20 years."

  


"It's just because we're friends."

  


"Hogwash. You look at her the same way Kyle used to look at me. It almost makes me miss him."

  


"And look what happened with you guys." Harm had an incredibly smug look on is face - as if her failed marriage proved anything.

  


"Don't go there Harmon Rabb. I may have been ready to divorce my husband but that doesn't mean I didn't love him. I still do. You and he have a lot in common. I think all the guys in the military have the same kind of mindset - but pilots and SF types are the worst. You're all adrenaline-junkies looking for your next high." Harm started to protest, but she waved him off. "And that is incredibly sexy. Women flock to you." Harm gave her his best flyboy smile. "The problem is when you start to believe your own publicity. Chris never got a bad OER (A/N: Officer Evaluation Report), always got top blocks (A/N: on the form, it reads 'promote above center of mass'), always marked as 'best qualified for promotion... aced his physicals, fitness evals, and inspections... if there was a way to praise him he got it. And he took that to mean that he was special, above the rules the rest of us have to live by.

  


"But you seem to break the mold there. As much as you like the rush of being in an F-14 and knowing that you're the best lawyer in the Navy, you're much more grounded in reality. I don't know how your life was when you were growing up, but your whole attitude toward family screams fidelity. I don't see you being willing to throw away what you already have for something that might or might not be better."

  


"Thank you. I think. I don't know that Mac would even want to consider a relationship with me. I hurt her pretty badly several years ago." Harm shrugged like it was not a concern.

  


**Well, at least he's admitting HE might be interested** Kate thought. All she said was, "Sydney."

  


"She TOLD you about that?" Harm was incredulous. The Mac he knew would have been terribly uncomfortable in a discussion about that part of their relationship.

  


"She glossed over it as she was filling me in on 'The Story of Her Life', but the way she clammed up when I questioned her about it I could tell it was worse than she let on."

  


"But she doesn't talk about personal stuff to anybody. I'm supposed to be her best friend and what little I know about her childhood she let slip during a rare weak moment." Harm felt betrayed.

  


"You know Sarah the adult, the lawyer, the Marine." Kate wasn't sure how she was going to turn this around, but honesty seemed like the best way to go. "I knew the Sarah that showed up at my house at all hours of the day and night when things got too bad for her at home. My mom was the only mother on post who would take her in. Sarah and I were more than best friends - we spent our adolescence joined at the hip. We may have been apart for years but we've got too much history to ignore.

  


"Don't tell me you don't have any GUY friends that you hang out with occasionally? An all guys night out kind of thing?" Kate saw him try to deny it, but she smiled. "Sturgis... Keeter... Bud?"

  


Harm sighed. OK, he didn't like it that Kate knew more about Sarah than he did, but he understood that in some form, this was the only family that Sarah really knew. And she wasn't hard to get along with, unless she was picking into your private life, that is. He wouldn't have agreed to come if he didn't think it would be fun.

  


"Now that you've decided that I'm not the wicked witch of the west, would you like to fly for a while?" Kate smiled.

  


"How do you DO that? Sarah tells time and damned if you don't just read minds. The two of you are like some kind of sitcom from television."

  


"You've met my kids. Do you think they're going to tell me everything I need to know? You're living in the wrong century if you believe that. Most of what I pry out of them comes from reading what is left unsaid. As for you, as nice as you've been to me lately and even though you agreed to this trip, I know I wandered in out of left field put a kink in your relationship with Sarah. How else could you see me but as the witch? Now... we've got about 45 minutes until we get there. Do you want to fly this bird or not?"

  


Harm smiled. "Thought you'd never ask."

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  


Even though I know the gist of the storied told here-in, I confess to copying them right off the TAMU homepage so that no detail get lost in the re-telling. I also swiped the info about the human scoreboard from the only other person I've seen on this list who writes A&M/JAG fanfic. I certainly believe it, but it's been too long since I was back to have actually seen it. My husband (class of '82) says it would have to have been a freshman! 

  
  


Chapter 5

  


Kate sat back and smiled as Harm took over flying the plane. It was like reading her kids. For all Harm said, there were a hundred things he didn't. And if you were used to squeezing the truth out of teenagers and pre-teens he wasn't hard to read. She just needed to figure out how to mobilize the two of them. God knows they weren't going to do it on their own. 

  


Kate took the controls back for landing at Easterwood Airport despite Harm's protest. After they had parked the plane at the hangar and unloaded their bags Kate sighed. "We can pick up the rental car and I'll run you over to the Hilton. If you don't mind, I'd like to get a shower and then we can find somewhere to grab a sandwich. It's..." she checked her watch, "it's almost 9 so maybe we can find a great Mexican place still open."

  


"I hate to sound out-dated here, but what are we going to do about the room?" Harm asked.

  


"No problem. After we eat and go to midnight yell I'll run you back to the Hilton and I can sack out in the plane." Kate shrugged.

  


"That's not fair - you were the one who had plans for this - I'm just tagging along. I can sleep in the plane-" Kate cut him off.

  


" I keep a couple of sleeping bags stuffed in the back for these kind of occasions. I rarely need them, but it's nice to have when you do. It's not a problem at all."

  


" What kind of occasions are you talking about?" Harm was confused.

  


Kate took a deep breath and explained. "We did have them in here in the event of a crash, morbid as that sounds. But I actually needed them on September 11th." She watched the wheels spin in Harm's mind. "I was supposed to go to a meeting in San Diego to see about breeding our Siberian tiger to one of their males. We were going to ship one to DC for a couple of months but their vet wouldn't hear of it without a personal meeting. I flew out about7 that morning and was about 2 hours into the flight when IT happened. They grounded all of the planes and I was stuck in Missouri. Because of all the stranded travelers I didn't have any luck finding a hotel so I just stayed in the plane."

  


"It was lucky you were able to do that." Even though he was a pilot, he realized that he had never thought much about all of the people who were on the grounded planes that day. He was a little ashamed that it hadn't occurred to him. He also realized he had just lost the discussion. "It doesn't bother you to stay here alone?" He had to ask.

  


"Not at all. Now let's go check you in and find some FOOD!"

  


*****************************************************************************

  


"Wow! That was great - that's one thing I miss about Texas. You just don't get good Mexican food anywhere else." They were leaving Los Cucos after eating more than either one of them thought possible. Kate would have gone back to the plane and gone to sleep, but she wanted to show Harm what A&M was all about. "Let's go park on campus and we can walk around before yell. Maybe I can walk some of dinner off!"

  


Harm watched her with amusement. She acted, and almost looked, like she was still a college student. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she seemed to be wearing the typical clothing - jeans, boots and an Aggie t-shirt.

  


When they got out of the car on the A&M campus, Kate held her hands in the air and spun in circles. "Welcome to Aggieland!" she stopped spinning and grinned. "I'm Kate your tour guide so if you'll follow me the grand tour will begin."

  


She pointed off to her right. "That is the Wiesenbaker engineering building. Straight ahead is the Administration building." They walked out of the parking lot towards the Admin Building. Harm admired the front of the stately building, with it's impressive steps and the towering columns. When they walked to the back of the building to make their way across campus Kate continued the "tour". "Here on the right is the Architecture building and across the field is the Animal Industries building." Kate smiled. "Rumor has it that one is haunted."

  


As they crossed the street, Kate pointed out the Sterling C. Evans library, the Education building, and the Academic building. She steered Harm around to the front of the Academic building and pointed out the Drill Field and the Memorial Student Center. They sat down on a bench at the fountain between the MSC and Rudder Tower. Kate paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. "I've shown you a portion of the campus, but that's not what being an Aggie means. Being here is about the traditions... of Muster and Silver Taps, Reville and Senior Boots, Elephant Walk and Ring Dance. And Midnight Yell!" Kate smiled. Let me tell you the story and then we can head over to the Stadium.

"Yell Practice began as a post dinner activity in 1913, when different corps companies would gather together to "learn heartily the old time pep." It was not until 1931, that Yell Practice as it is known today, was held before the t.u. (A/N: University of Texas) game. It began, when a group of cadets were gathered in Peanut Owen's dorm room in Puryear Hall. Someone suggested that all of the freshmen should fall out and meet on the steps of the YMCA building at midnight. The cadets notified senior yell leaders Horsefly Berryhill and Two Gun Herman from Sherman, who could not authorize it, but said that they may just show up. Needless to say, the word spread quickly, and when the freshmen began to arrive, there were railroad flares and torpedoes stuck in flower pots around the YMCA building to light the area. The first Midnight Yell had begun!!!  
  
Today, Midnight Yell is held the night before a home game in Kyle Field and at the Grove on Thursday nights before away games. Also for away games, a site is designated for a Midnight Yell in the city of our opponent on the night before the game. For example, for the t.u. game, it is held at the Texas Capitol in Austin. For a yell at Kyle Field, yell leaders lead the Fightin' Texas Aggie Band and the Twelfth Man into the stadium. The yell leaders lead the crowd in old army yells, the singing of the fight song, and tell fables of how the Aggies are going to beat the everlivin' hell out of our opponent for the next day. Lastly, the lights go out, and Aggies kiss their dates. If they don't have a date, all they have to do is flick their Bicks. As the story goes, the flames make it easier for two dateless people to find each other, and maybe they won't be dateless anymore!

  


Harm smiled - she was excited about being back. He wondered why he never got this excited about going back to his alma mater. Maybe it was because he lived close enough to do it anytime he wanted to. Or maybe there was something more to this place than meets the eye. Kate and Harm stood up and walked tot he from of the Student Center. There were students coming from all direction and they seemed to be heading toward... was THAT the football field? It was big enough to be a NFL stadium.

  


When they had found places in the stands, Harm looked around with awe. This place was huge. He had, in fact, seen a couple of A&M games on television, but it wasn't quite the same as being here. Belatedly, he realized that Kate was still talking to him. Something about a dog named Reville?

"...She is the highest ranking member of the Corps of Cadets, and she is a Five-Star General.  
  
Reveille I came to Texas A&M in January 1931. A group of cadets hit a small black and white dog on their way back from Navasota. They picked up the dog and brought her back to school so they could care for her. The next morning, when "Reveille" was blown by a bugler, she started barking. She was named after this morning wakeup call. The following football season she was named the official mascot when she led the band onto the field during their half-time performance. When Reveille I died on January 18, 1944, she was given a formal military funeral on the gridiron of Kyle Field. She was then buried at the north entrance to the field, as all Reveilles are, facing the scoreboard so that she can always watch the Aggies outscore their opponent.  
  
Before naming Reveille II, there were several other unofficial mascots, such as Tripod, Spot, and Ranger. It was not until a later Reveille that she was a full-blood Collie. The most current Reveille is Reveille VII.  
  
Reveille is the most revered dog on campus. Company E-2 has the privilege of taking care of Reveille. If she is sleeping on a cadet's bed, that cadet must sleep on the floor. Cadets address Reveille as "Miss Rev, ma'am." If she is in class and barks while the professor is teaching, the class is to be immediately dismissed."

"You're kidding, right?" Harm was having a hard time swallowing this one. It had to be one of those tall Texas tales.

"This will really blow your socks off. If you missed the cemetery on the way in, all of the deceased Reville's are buried together at the North end of the stadium. When they built The Zone - this section of the end zone here - they installed a miniature score board on the outside of the stadium so Reville could still see the score." she smiled and paused to let that sink in. Harm still wasn't looking convinced.

"Before they got the addition finished and the scoreboard up, one of the cadets had to stand out there during games and hold scorecards." Kate waited.

"Now I know you're yanking my chain." Harm wasn't about to believe that any school would go that far for a mascot.

"Just ask around if you don't believe me." Kate sat back and waited. She didn't have to wait long. A student in the Corps of Cadets leaned forward. 

"She's tellin' the absolute truth. Miss Rev is to Texas A&M what Laura Bush is to the White House." 

There wasn't time for more conversation. Yell practice began with band playing the Aggie Fight Song. Harm listened to the speeches, watched the male yell leaders - **whatever happened to cheerleaders?** He wondered - learned the signs to pass the yell back in the stands. Heard tales about "Hank the Good Ag" - somehow he was beginning to get into all of this hokey stuff. It was actually fun. And then the lights went out.

At the same time he looked around to see what was wrong, it occurred to Harm that he hadn't paid all that much attention to Kate's story about Yell Practice. Before he could form a complete thought, he felt her hand on the back of his neck pulling his head down. When they came up gasping for air all he could do was stare at her. Kate smiled and patted his arm. "You'd better be glad you belong to Sarah. Otherwise I doubt I'd be sleeping in the plane." Then she turned and walked toward the exit.  



	6. Chapter 6

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  
  


A/N: To all of you great football fans... I love football and love watching the game. I cannot however, write about football. Just can't. Also, since Navy seems to be winning this year and A&M pretty much is not, I'm going to let that be the way the story goes.

  
  


Chapter 6

  


In his hotel room following the yell practice, Harm was restless. Somehow kissing Kate made him feel more than a little guilty. It made him want to talk to Mac. Looking at the clock on the night table he sighed. It was after 1:00 in Texas. That meant it was after 2am in D.C. As his brain decided to wait until a more human hour to call, his hand was already dialing her number.

  


"Hello?" Mac mumbled. **Somebody had better have died if they're calling in the middle of the night.**

  


"Hey, Mac... I'm sorry I woke you... I shouldn't have called. Go back to sleep and I'll call you sometime tomorrow, ok?" Harm stumbled his way through the apology. **She doesn't want to talk to you NOW, stupid** the voice in his head told him.

  


'No, Harm - wait!" Mac tried to gather her wits and jump start her brain. "Are you okay?"

  


"I'm fine..."

  


"But..." Mac knew there was more to the story, and by God if he was going to wake her up in the middle of the night, he was going to have to tell it to her. 

  


Harm ran his hand through his hair as he tried to figure out how to explain to her what he couldn't explain to himself. "I don't know. It looks like this could be a fun weekend - we had a good time tonight, the game is going to be exciting, but..."

  


Mac smiled. "You kissed Kate and now you feel guilty." She was beginning to understand where this conversation was going. This might fun if it wasn't so late.

  


There was a long pause, while Harm tried to sort out her statement. "Kate told you about it before we left." 

  


"I got the detailed description of all the plans you guys have this weekend. She was still trying to get me to come with you right up until yesterday. She swore she could pick up a scalped ticket and we could sit in her seats." Mac was still trying not to laugh. At least not too obviously.

  


"I feel like an ass. I'm sorry I woke you up and I guess I owe Kate an apology tomorrow too. I'll let you go back to sleep." Harm was a little short with her, but they both knew it was due to embarrassment rather than anger.

  


"How was your flight?" Now that she was awake, Mac settled down for a chat. And more opportunities to needle her partner.

  


"You KNEW and you let me wander out there completely unaware. That was so unfair." Harm heard her chuckle out loud. "It's a really cool jet - not as cool as the Sarah, but it was fun. And the company was alright too. I probably owe Kate another apology for all the bad things I've thought about her. She's ok. She's awfully damned nosy but she's ok."

  


"She grilled you too, huh? I've been through that several times lately. I think she saw this as an opportunity to see the "other" side. You do realize that you can't lie to her?"

  


Harm snorted. "And you can't evade either. She locks on like a guided missile."

  


"Look, Mac, it's late here and I know it's later there. I just needed to talk to you - it feels strange to be here without you. I'll let you go back to bed. Can I come by when we get back Sunday afternoon?"

  


"I'd love it. You can tell me how Navy get's their butts kicked. Good night Harm."

  


"Good night Mac."

  


Harm stripped down to his boxers and crawled in bed. His mind still thinking about Mac. And Kate. They were both strong, bright women. Both single even though in different ways. Harm knew that even though he and Mac had never acknowledge this "thing" they had, that they did have each other. As sassy as Kate put on, he realized that the comment tonight was more than just play. She had her kids, she had the people who helped her run her life, but she didn't have much life outside of her kids and her work. The question was, who did he know that could stand up to a woman with that kind of personality. He mentally ran though the list of unattached males he called friends... Gunny was unattached last check... maybe, the Admiral... nope - we already tried that one and crashed and burned. Keeter? Maybe, he liked Mac well enough and she and Kate were two peas in a pod. Webb. He didn't seem to socialize outside of work much either. The kids would make relationships difficult though. Especially at the beginning. As much as Harm loved kids and wanted his own, he knew he would have to think long and hard about getting involved with a woman who already had four. He rolled over to go to sleep, deciding there was plenty of time to work on this idea. He and Mac could talk about it on Sunday.

  


* * *

  
  
  


"Good morning, sunshine!" Kate breezed into the hotel room at 8:00 in the morning. Harm rolled over and pulled the pillow over his head.

  


"It's Saturday - can't a guy sleep in?"

  


"Not THIS Saturday he can't." Kate handed him the coffee she had picked up in the lobby. "We were going to go to the Corps Museum and try to get through the Bush Library this morning. The game starts at 3:00, but march-in starts at 12:00. We'll need to get lunch before we go in too - unless you want hot dogs and nachos at the stadium."

  


Harm groaned and sat up, making sure that everything that needed to be, was covered. "Give me ten minutes to get a shower and we can go." 

  


As he headed into the bathroom, Kate sat on the second bed, pulled her feet up and leaned against the headboard. **My life is going to hell in a handbasket and there is nothing I can do about it.** she thought. **I just need to find a way to prevent this from killing Sarah.**

  


______________________________________________________________________________

  


"Wow, Kate. Thanks for letting me come with you - this has been a great weekend." Harm told her as they walked out of The Zone.

  


"Yeah, because your team beat mine." Kate wasn't usually such a bad loser but the game had been really ugly, for the Aggies, that is. "If this is an omen for how the rest of the season is going to be, I might just put my tickets up for sale on Ebay. That's a long trip for heartburn."

  


"It wasn't that bad..." Harm tried to cheer her up.

  


"NOT THAT BAD?" Kate stopped and turned to look at him. "Harm, the score was 57 to 3. How could it have been much worse?"

  


"New coach, not a lot of great recruiting the last couple of years. Give Franchione a couple of years and you guys will be back in the rankings."

  


Kate ignored him and kept walking. Harm trotted to catch up to her. "Did you want to go back to the hotel, get dinner and an early night?"

  


"You can if you want. I'm going to go visit Northgate for a while." She sounded down and something told Harm it wasn't just the game.

  


"What's Northgate?"

  


"It's pretty much a bar and fast food strip just off campus. I'm going to go sit in my favorite watering hole until I can't see straight."

  


"In that case, may I join you? I would hate to have to tell Mac that I let her best friend down." Harm smiled. It didn't seem to have the same effect on Kate. She'd looked like hell all day. When she had come to his room this morning she didn't look like she had slept. She'd been a little short all day - not quite rude, just a little distant - even though he could tell she was making a real effort to hide whatever was bothering her. Maybe it was time to ask her about it.

  


They followed the crowd as everyone else seemed to be heading the same direction. Crossed the six lane road that led to the airport to the left and Harm's hotel to the right. They walked up to a dilapidated looking building with a sign proclaiming it to be: The Dixie Chicken.

  


Somehow after seeing the outside, Harm wasn't surprised at the inside. Wooden floor, Plank walls covered with hunting trophies - deer, bobcat, ducks & pheasants, boar - and old license plates, old advertisements. The tables had seen much better days before who-knew-how-many years of students had carved names and dates into them. He could see a handful of pool tables in the back. The place was already crowded and more people were coming in all the time. 

  


"I'd tell you to go find a table, but I think they're already taken," Harm said looking around. "What do you want to drink, and then we can look for somewhere out of the way."

  


"Coors Light," was the only response from Kate. 

  


Harm went to the bar, placed their order and they walked through the bar. "This is quite a place."

  


Kate smiled a little. "Not really your kind of place though. Since you don't eat meat, I'm sure you're not into hunting much."

  


"Not really. But it all kinda adds to the charm. Hey, look this looks like a good place to stop." The place looked like two building that had been joined together decades before. One floor was slightly higher than the other and had a small ramp. At the top there was a small space along the wall before the tables started.

  


Kate didn't answer him, she just leaned against the wall and drank her beer. "If you go over that way, you can see the rattlesnakes. I'll wait here."

  


Harm wandered over, looked at the snakes for a minute, amazed at the construction of a snake pit into the wall. There must have been five of them in there - all sleeping for the moment. When he returned to Kate, he let her be for a while as he watched students, teachers and alumni wandering past. This really was a great place. The college, the town, the bar... they all had this sense of history. It was quite different from any of the places he had ever lived.

  


Kate walked over to the back bar and ordered another beer. Harm was still working on the first one. When she came back he asked, "Would you like to talk about it?"

  


Kate sighed. "No. But I don't have a whole lot of choice in the matter." She thought for a while. Harm could see her shuffling through fact as she tried to decide what to tell him.

  


"This is going to sound presumptuous and pushy even for me. I need to know exactly what is going on between you and Sarah." Kate was doing a serious study of the dust on the floor.

  


Harm worked that around in his head for a minute and asked, "Can you tell me why?"

  


That got a small smile. "Not until you answer the question, and only if it's the right answer." Kate stopped for a long minute. "I know I know. It's a circular question. You won't tell me until you know why I need to know. I can't tell you until I know the answer." Kate paused and even as she spoke it was slowly as if she were very carefully deciding how much she could tell him. "I was afraid this was going to come up when I found out Sarah was in DC. I've tried to to talk about contacting her because I knew all hell was going to break loose. I managed to dely it but not indefinitely."

  


Harm started to ask a question, but Kate cut him off. "Before I say anything else I have to tell you that this whole situation is extremely need to know. And I can't make the decision on who needs to know. Take that up with Sarah when you get home. Go to her - stay with her. She is going to send you away but don't let her. If you love her like I think you do, DO NOT let her make you leave. Don't let her out of your sight for the next couple of weeks - don't say it. I know you work together, I know all about the damned chain of command issues, etc. The only thing I can tell you is that this is something Sarah should have dealt with 17 years ago. It hasn't even been mentioned once so I know that she hasn't. Before she can hope to have a secure, normal relationship she has got to deal with this. And it's about to come back and bite her in the ass."

  


"Why does it have to be me? It seems like this should be something she would be more comfortable with you helping her." Harm didn't know what to make if this conversation but it certainly was beginning to explain Kate's mood today.

  


"Because in some stupid backward way, this is going to be my fault. Once the shit hits the fan, so to speak, whatever forgiveness we've achieved is going to be lost. I'm going to lose my best friend again." Kate ended the sentence with a sob and headed out of the bar. 

  


By the time Harm managed to weave his around other patrons and follow her outside, Kate had managed to cross the street and was headed back toward the airport. By the time the traffic had cleared enough for him to follow her, Kate was out of his sight. He sighed. Kate knew this town much better than he did. She knew exactly where she was going, he was just going to have to trust that she was ok. He figured he'd give her about 30 minutes and try to call her cell phone. Besides, he needed some time to think about what she had said. He cycled between feelings of anger and concern.

  


Harm was halfway back to where they had parked the rental when his cell phone went off. The caller ID showed Mac's number.

  


"Rabb"

  


"Hey, what's going on over there. Kate just called me in tears and asked me to give you a message." He could hear confusion in her voice, but also a touch of warning. As if HE might have done something to cause all of this mess.

  


"I don't know, Mac-Sarah-Mac." **Why did women have these kinds of problems? He didn't have these kinds of conversations with the guys. Had to be an estrogen thing.** "She's been odd all day and a few minutes ago she just lost it. Said I needed to talk to you when we get back. And I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight... for a couple of weeks. She thinks you're going to hate her and something is going to bite you in the ass - her words exactly."

  


Mac was silent for a minute - Harm thought she might have hung up. When she spoke, he knew she had figured out something about the problem. Her voice was tight. "Yeah, I guess we do need to talk. Tell her I said I won't hate her. It's not her fault even though I can see how she would think it is," she paused. "Kate wants you to meet her at the main airport at 8. You guys can turn the car in and come home. She said to tell you she's ok. I'm sorry, Harm. This wasn't supposed to happen." He heard the call disconnect. And he knew that she was crying.

  



	7. Chapter 7

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  
  


A/N: Thank you to all of you who have read my brain-child and emailed me. I haven't responded to many unless they asked a direct question, but I have read your comments and appreciate your input. And to avoid being awarded the crown for "worst cliffhanger," I got up at 5 this morning to try to get this out. It's not finished by any means, but hopefully this will begin to answer your questions. Beginning tomorrow, my husband is off work for 4 days and my 7 year old doesn't have school on Monday. It will be at least Wednesday before I can get back to this. You have been warned! :)

  


Chapter 7

  


**God that weekend was a disaster,** Kate thought as she landed the plane in Virginia. She looked at her passenger and wondered what he was thinking. They hadn't said two words to each other all day. She knew there were better ways to handle this than she had done, but there wasn't any way to make this easier.

  


"I called Juan before we left. He should have brought the Pontiac out here - the keys should be in it so you take it and go to Sarah. I'll call her later when I have clearer idea of what exactly is going on. " Harm started to speak, but she waved him off. "We'll work out the logistics of getting it back later."

  


Harm nodded, but didn't answer her. He didn't like being left in the dark about something that was obviously tearing both of them apart. Until he knew a lot more about what this was about, he wasn't sure he hadn't been right when he told Mac that Kate was going to hurt her. 

  


____________________________________________________________________________

  


Harm knocked on Mac's door. She must have been standing there waiting for him because it opened almost before he finished. It was obvious that she'd had a rough night. If she had slept at all it was because she had cried herself to sleep. She didn't say anything to him when she opened the door, she just launched herself into his arms.

  


"It's okay, Mac. It's okay. I don't know what this is all about, but we're going to get through it. Remember? It's you and me? Butch and Sundance? Batman and Robin?" Harm backed her carefully into the apartment and guided her gently to the couch. He sat her down gently. "Can I get you some coffee? Tea? Breakfast?"

  


Mac shook her head and buried her face in her hands. She wasn't crying anymore, but she couldn't look at him. "You're going to hate me. You're going to think I'm the most horrible person in the world..."

  


Harm sat down next to her, pulled her hands down. He put his hand under her chin and lifted her head so that she had to look at him. "I could never hate you. What could you have done that would be so terrible?" The look on his face was of tender concern, but she could see some sadness there too. "I guess you've told me so much about your childhood I thought I new all of your secrets, but I promise you I won't judge you for whatever you did when you were..."

  


"Seventeen." Mac said sadly. "Maybe you'd better make that coffee. This is going to take a while." While he made coffee, Mac looked at the mess she had made of her life. She had spend so many years trying to convince herself that she was worth just as much as everyone else. That she was strong and could take care of herself without help from anyone. Lord knows she got precious little help when she was a child. Now look. She was sitting on the couch like a lost goose, bawling and helpless. She hated to have Harm see this, to know this side of her but she needed him more now than ever before. He said he wouldn't hate her, but she knew better. She hated herself.

  


Harm spent the time watching her and worrying. He had never seen her this vulnerable. Whatever it was he knew that she needed him to get over his anxieties about a relationship and help her deal with this crisis.

  


When they both had steaming cups of hot coffee, Mac began her story. "This is before Chris." she paused. "Before the fight Kate and I had. You know I was drinking then, that I pretty much did what I wanted to do and to hell with the future... Kate's mom took me in... The longest time I ever spent at her house was about six months." she stopped, swallowed hard to keep from crying and went to look out the window. She couldn't face Harm while she talked about this. "When I was pregnant."

  


Stunned but not stupid, Harm set his coffee down on the table and walked up behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders to offer comfort and strength. Mac moved away from him. "Please don't touch me right now - in a minute I'm going to fall apart and need you to hold me, but right now I need to get through this on my own."

  


Mac wandered around the apartment, aimlessly trying to put into words something she had buried so deeply she'd almost forgotten about it. Almost. "Kate's mom helped me deal with the pregnancy, let me stay with them after my dad... the only time he ever beat me was when he discovered I was pregnant... she told me I didn't have to have it... didn't have to keep it... but I couldn't do that. I couldn't face those kind of choices. Kate's mom took me to the hospital and stayed with me through my labor." Mac lost control and began to cry again. "I had a beautiful baby girl. I named her Rachel. Afterwards, we stayed with my dad some, sometimes with Kate's family until the fight, about 6 months later. Then I left. I walked out and I left Rachel there. I left my beautiful baby girl and I never went back." Mac collapsed onto the floor and began to sob like her heart was breaking.

  


Harm was having a hard time working through this story. His Mac, beautiful Mac who wanted children, had abandoned her daughter? God how little he really knew about what kind of life she had led. The things that had hurt her and shaped her into the woman she was. And even knowing, he realized, didn't mean that he could understand. At this point, he realized how sheltered his life had really been. He'd lost his dad, his mom and remarried and he'd taken the trip to Vietnam when he was sixteen, but through all of that he'd had the love and support of his mom and step-dad. While he'd gotten his share of corporal punishment, he had never been beaten. Never wondered if he was going to be able to sleep in his own house. He sank down onto the floor beside her and pulled her into his arms. "I told you we would get through this together and I meant it. But you have to tell me what's going on now."

  


"Harm I'm a MONSTER! I left my baby!" she hiccuped as she tried to control her tears. "I called Kate after I talked to you. I had to. She said her mom kept Rachel, I guess she adopted her. Kate said they have always told her pretty much the truth about her mother. Since she turned 13, she's been on a rampage that she needs to see me. Because of her age it's been pretty easy to put her off. But she's 17. She graduated from high school early... I don't know where she got those kind of brains ... Kate said Rachel was at school when her mom told her about me living here. Kate didn't mention it, hasn't told any of them that we've... what... made up? Whatever. But a couple of weeks ago when they were on the phone, Kate's mom asked her point blank if she'd ever managed to hook up with me. And Rachel heard her."

  


Things were beginning to click into place. "And she wants to see you." Harm stated.

  


Mac nodded. "Apparently no one knew she had overheard the conversation. She didn't say anything about it until this weekend. She called Kate early Saturday morning, told her she had a plane ticket and was coming this week. Asked if she could stay at the farm. Apparently they had a row about Rachel's coming and how traumatic this was going to be... Kate originally wasn't going to help her. Wasn't going to let her stay. She knows what this is going to do to me. She said she almost didn't come find me because of Rachel but she thought I might want to hear about her. She said when I didn't ask about her that first day, she thought I didn't care. Then she heard about my miserable life and said that until I dealt with this, all of my relationships were going to fall apart," she stopped and looked at the floor. "I'm rambling."

  


"No," Harm told her, his arms tightening around her, "you're coping. Keep talking if it helps."

  


"I don't know what to say. She's going to be here this week - Kate said she'd call when she had actual flight information - she's going to want to see me and she's going to hate me for leaving her."

  


"Maybe not. If she's as smart as you are, maybe she'll realize that you were in a living hell. That you were dealing with too many things that a 16 year old should never have to. That in an act of cowardice and selfishness you gave her a life and opportunities that you never could have given her," Mac started to defend herself, but Harm didn't giver her a chance. " No, wait. I'm not placing blame. You had to have been scared out of your wits and you were doing what you thought would take care of you. That it didn't work out isn't your fault. When it fell apart, you didn't tell your Uncle Matt, did you?"

  


"No. I was too ashamed. And too scared. I knew what happened to women who abandoned their babies. I spend years looking over my shoulder, waiting to be arrested. I guess I always assumed the Murphy's had turned her over to Child Protective Services. I don't know what I thought would happen but I was sure I'd never see her again."

  


They sat on the floor holding each other for more than an hour. Finally, Harm shifted. "Are you hungry? I'm sure you don't feel like going out, but I can find something to fix. I suspect you haven't eaten since last night."

  


Mac smiled. "I don't think I really have a choice. I was going to see if I couldn't get you to take me to the commissary this afternoon... before all this started at least... you know how it is trying to get all those bags in a Corvette and all..." 

  


Just then the phone rang. Mac looked from the phone to Harm and back several times, her face showing nothing but pure fear. Harm put his hand on her shoulder, leaned forward and picked up the cordless phone. "McKenzie residence....She's okay - we're talking it through... yeah, it's been really tough for her but I think she's going to be ready to face it..." He looked at Mac and mouthed, "Do you want to talk?" She shook her head fiercely. "Do you have any more information when Rachel is going to get here?" He stood up and walked to the kitchen for a sheet of paper. "Mmm hmmm... okay...okay. Let me get with Mac and see what makes her the most comfortable and one of us will call you back either later today or tomorrow morning... I will."

  


When he had hung up the phone, Harm walked over and offered Mac his hand to help her off of the floor. When she was up, he held her hand rather than letting it go. "Okay, this is how things are going to work - not much to Rachel's liking, but Kate seems to think this is best, and I agree with her. Rachel is flying in tomorrow night. She's going to stay at the farm and Kate is going to have a firm set down with her on Tuesday. Wednesday we are all going to do something - what is up to you - but this meeting needs to take place in some kind of neutral territory. All of our houses and the zoo are off limits. Anything else is game. After the initial meeting, if you two want to go somewhere alone that's fine. If you want me to come with you I will. Kate's going to step out at this point. Rachel has to go back on Friday to start college. She can leave anytime before then if either one of you wants her to go." All Mac could do was nod. This was all happening to fast for her to process easily, especially on an empty stomach.

  


Harm leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Mac's forehead. "This is all going to be ok. One way or another it's time to get this skeleton out of your closet."

  


Mac wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thank you Harm. Thank you for not hating me. Thank you for staying. I don't think I could face her alone."

  


"I told you I could never hate you. I love you too much for that Ninja-Girl."

  


Mac looked up and for the first time saw the truth in his eyes. He did love her. He would stand by her through anything this world decided to throw at her. He loved her when she was being Ms. Big-Bad-Marine and he loved her when she was sobbing like a baby in his arms. There was nothing she needed to hide from him. "I love you too," she choked out.

  


"I know. You tried to tell me on the ferry and I wouldn't, couldn't, see past all the disasters in both of our lives. It took me this long and one very important realization to accept it."

  


"What realization?"

  


"That is isn't so much about where we work that is important - it's that we get to come home to each other day in and day out. Plus, look around. I don't know that I've ever been stationed somewhere that there wasn't at least one dual military family around. Sometimes a lot more than that. Harriet and Bud have managed to work it out to their advantage, but as long as we're both in the general area we can make it work.

  


Mac was a little confused, but she thought she might like it. "So we go from my bastard child to... what is this? A marriage proposal?"

  


That made Harm chuckle. "That sounds about right for us doesn't it? We can deal with the you and me anytime we want to. I just want you to know that I am willingly in this for as long as it takes."

  


"Deal. Now didn't you say something about food?"


	8. Chapter 8

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  


Chapter 8

  


"Harm, hang up." It had been a long night, but now it was time to get back to the real world. "I have to go to work today..."

  


Harm cut her off mid-sentence. "You're wound up pretty tight - let me call the Admiral, tell him you need a couple of personal days. I'll make arrangements to have Wednesday off- so far at least, my case load is light enough that it shouldn't be an issue. You can go back to work next week."

  


"Harm, I've already put in for leave next week. Remember Chloe? Disneyland? Besides, the last thing I need is to sit around for two days to do nothing but worry myself to death. At work I can be distracted."

  


"You're not really thinking about still taking Chloe to Florida? Mac, I think this is enough excitement for -"

  


"I made a promise to my little sister. I am not about to break that promise short of being recalled from leave. Chloe's life has improved drastically, but I am not about to have her think that she suddenly is taking second seat to someone else."

  


Harm sighed. He recognize her mind-set and there was no way he was going to sway her. "Let's go then. How do you propose that we both manage to get Wednesday off?"

  


"I can't guarantee that we will. I'll talk to the Admiral this morning. And I will tell him that I'm going to need all of the support that I can get. Maybe he had a good weekend and is feeling generous."

  


Harm's voice softened, "Are you sure that you can face this alone?"

  


Mac stopped, her hand on the door, "I am a marine, you know." She paused for a moment and rested her head on the open door, "I'll do what I have to. Kate will be there if I need her. I want you to be there too, but if it doesn't work then it doesn't. My concern right now is whether or not I'm going to be able to get the time."

  


Harm followed her out the door. He hoped that she was up to the challenges today was going to bring. She still looked like she had seen all the ghosts in the world, but maybe she was right. Working would help to keep her mind of the rest of the week.

  


_____________________________________________________________________________

  


Mac stopped in front of Tiner's desk. "Does the Admiral have a few minutes this morning?"

  


After checking the calendar, he replied, "Unless it's important, he can see you at 1000 - will that work?"

  


"Yes, thank you."

_____________________________________________________________________________

  


Mac's internal clock reminded her that it was 0955. She stood up, took a deep breath, and saw Harm come through her door. "Are you going to see the Admiral?"

  


"Yes. Nothing huge came up at the Staff Meeting so I'm hoping this is going to be easy." From the look on her face, Harm could tell this was going to be anything but easy.

  


"I know what you said this morning, but I'm still offering... would you like some company?"

  


Mac took another deep breath. "Yeah, I think so. Let's go before we're late."

  


_____________________________________________________________________________

  


The Admiral's intercom beeped, followed by Tiner's voice, "Admiral, Colonel McKenzie and Commander Rabb here to see you, sir."

  


The door opened and his two senior attorney's entered and came to attention in front of his desk.

  


"Have a seat. What's on your mind?" The Admiral was astute enough to see that something was going on, and it didn't look good. **Which one of them is going to deliver the bad news?** he wondered.

  


Mac was clenching her hands in her lap, and was looking anywhere but at him. "Sir, I need to request a personal day for myself and Commander Rabb on Wednesday, Sir."

  


**Two sir's in once sentence? And from Mac? Tiner, on a bad day? Yeah, but not usually from any of the senior staff.** "You're going to have to do better than that, Colonel. And I'm not sure it's up to you to ask for a personal day for the Commander." **Good Lord, was Harm scowling at him? What in the hell had happened this weekend?**

  


"Sir, you know that my life before joining the Corps was... um... difficult. And it seems that one of my... indiscretions has once again reared it's head." Before the Admiral could question that statement, she forced herself to continue. "When I was sixteen, I had a child. I abandoned her and left her with Kate's mom. She is flying in today and I'm supposed to meet her on Wednesday." In a gesture so out of place, Harm reached over and put his hand on her arm. Just for a second, but it was enough. Mac saw the Admiral watching, closed her eyes and waited for the storm.

  


"What is this going to do to your plans for next week, Colonel?" 

  


Mac opened her eyes and stared at the Admiral. **That's it? Nothing about me and Harm? That must be coming later.** "I am still planning to take Chloe to Florida, sir."

  


"I'm sure she'd understand if you needed to do it another time." Chegwidden was still trying to work his mind around what his Chief of Staff had told him. Although this discussion was buying him the time he needed, he knew that they knew what he was doing.

  


"I made a promise, sir." Was all that Mac could say.

  


Chegwidden thought for a few more minutes before he returned to her original question. "Right now things are slow enough that I don't have a problem granting you both leave on Wednesday. Commander, you need to be in the office on Thursday, regardless of what else happens. The last thing I need is the SecNav coming down here and my entire senior staff has taken a holiday. Colonel, if something happens that you need the rest of the week I'm willing to let you take it, but you'll have to postpone your leave the following week."

  


Mac swallowed hard. She knew that he was trying to be as fair as he could, but she didn't like even the possibility that she was going to have to hurt Chloe's feelings.

  


"She's a big girl, Colonel," Chegwidden added. "I think she's old enough to understand that sometimes things come up."

  


"Dismissed." The Admiral went back to the files on his desk.

  


____________________________________________________________________________

  


"Did you expect the Admiral to let me off that ea sily?" Mac questioned Harm over dinner Monday night. "I just knew I was going to get a lecture about taking after you and letting emotions overrule my common sense."

  


Harm snorted something. Mac decided maybe she didn't want to know what he said and continued. "Do you think we could go to the airport?"

  


"Why?" was the guarded response.

  


"Rachel's flight is supposed to be landing soon, right?" Harm nodded. "I want to see her before Wednesday."

  


"Maaac... Kate told me what time she gets in - not what airline. We could spend all night running around up there and never see her. Then there's the chance that we run right into them and mess things up."

  


"I don't think I can wait. My nerves are going to kill me."

  


"If Kate didn't think she needed some kind of discipline, I wouldn't have a problem. I just don't want to wind up in some kind of teen-age meltdown in the middle of the airport." He could see Mac working up a complaint, so he finished quickly, "Kate knows her far better than you or I. Let's trust her to know what is going to work best."

  


Mac looked down at her plate, and Harm knew she was fighting back tears. "Fine," she sighed. "We'll do it her way. One two conditions."

  


"Name them and you've got them."

  


"You can't leave me here alone. How I'm going to make it through work tomorrow I don't know, but I need company at night."

  


"No problem there. What's the second?"

  


"You have to realize that I might not be the best company in the world and put up with me."

  


Harm smiled. "I think I can manage that."

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  


CHAPTER 9

  


Wednesday morning, Mac's internal alarm woke her at 0500. Knowing that she would never get back to sleep, she crept out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to start coffee. True to his word, Harm had stayed with her all week, but after the first night had insisted on sleeping on the couch. Mac smiled as she remembered his reasoning: "For once in my life, I'm going to do something the right way. We get past meeting Rachel and the fallout from that, and then I'm going to do my best to court you in the style you deserve." It was just too sweet, and so typically Harm that it made her shiver just thinking about it.

  


Mac leaned her elbows on the counter while she waited for the coffee to brew. She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt a touch on her shoulder. "Harm! God, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

  


"I'm sorry! I didn't know you didn't hear me come it. I haven't exactly been tiptoeing around. Are you worrying about meeting Rachel?"

  


Mac didn't have to think about it for a second. "No. I'm not worried about it. I'm scared out of my mind." After a pause, she added, "And at the same time, I'm excited."

  


Harm took two coffee cups out of the cabinet and proceeded to fill them. "It may be rough for a little while, but I suspect you two are going to be fine. If she really hated you all that much, she wouldn't want to come here to see you. She'd be hoping that you never showed up at all."

  


"MmmmHmm." Mac wasn't looking entirely convinced, but her outlook on the whole situation had improved drastically in the last few days. They had told Harriet, Bud and Sturgis over lunch on Tuesday. Mac wasn't too eager to share, but felt like their friends should hear it from her, rather than have somebody else find out and spread the information as gossip. Bud and Sturgis didn't seem at all affected by the news. Harriet had reacted with her usual enthusiasm. She was convinced that everything was going to be "just wonderful." She had wanted to throw a party for them at her house before Rachel left, but Harm had tactfully suggested that another time might be better. Taking the hint, Harriet had let the subject drop.

  


Harm left the kitchen to take a shower and Mac went into the bedroom to get dressed. Five outfits later she was still digging through her closet when Harm emerged from the bathroom. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a henley-type t-shirt. Mac looked up at him, "You're going to wear THAT?"

  


Harm laughed. "I'm not trying to impress anybody today, and I plan to be comfortable." He looked at the clothes Mac had laying on the bed. "We decided to meet at Rock Creek Park, remember? I don't think dresses and heels are appropriate." Mac glared at him. Harm walked over behind her, put his arms around her waist and rested his chin on top of her head. "You would look great in a flour sack, Mac. Put on a reasonably new pair of jeans, a nice shirt and your tennis shoes. We're liable to be walking around all day."

  


"But..."

  


"This isn't a command performance at the Admiral's house, Mac. If you wear one of those," he gestured to the dresses on the bed, "you're going to be uncomfortable and miserable all day. That's not going to make this any easier."

  


Mac sighed and turned around to wrap her arms around Harm's waist. "You're right. I just feel like I should be more... grown-up, you know? Not dressed like I did when I was 18."

  


"You're fine, Mac." Harm knew it was going to be an ongoing effort to kill all the demons from Mac's past and keep her self-esteem where it should be. "You don't have to dress to impress anybody - ever."

  


He held her for a moment until he felt her relax. "Go get your shower and get dressed Marine. I'll take you out for the biggest breakfast you've ever seen."

  


Mac smiled and shoved him away. "You always think the way to my heart is with food... whatever would give you that idea?"

  


"That it works maybe?" Harm ducked as she tossed a pillow his direction. "I'll wait for you in the living room. It's getting dangerous in here. 

  


Mac chuckled to herself as she hung all the dresses back in her closet. **What did I ever do to deserve a man like him?** She pulled out a comfortable pair of jeans and a polo shirt. **Shoes... Running shoes? Too big and clunky. Loafers? Could be uncomfortable if we walk a lot. Keds? Hmm. Comfortable, look pretty good - thank goodness they're new and not all scuffed up.** She headed into the shower, feeling much better about the day. When she was dressed she looked in the mirror. In her mind she saw herself twice. Once as a scared and messed up teenager, once as an accomplished and respected Marine lawyer. **How did you manage to make the transition, Sarah?** she wondered. **Where would you be now if you hadn't?" That was almost too scary to think about, but she knew she was going to need an answer before she met Rachel.

  


*****

  


**Wow!** Was the only thought that entered Harm's mind when she walked into the living room. "You look great," he told her, glad that it hadn't taken much to convince her dress casually. **I don't know how I'd manage to work with her every day if she wore that,** he thought. Not too tight, but flattering her muscular figure, Mac was absolutely stunning. The jeans accentuated her hips and made her waist look tiny, and the polo shirt clung exactly where it was supposed to without looking tacky. **Hell, she even looks good in BDU's and they hide everything.**

  


"Ready for breakfast, Marine?"

  


"Let's go, Sailor-boy."

  


****

  


Harm was beginning to get concerned. Mac had been happy and outgoing when they left her apartment, but as they drove to the local Waffle House restaurant she had begun to withdraw. He had given her time to think, but after they had placed their orders, he reached across the table and covered her hands. "What's wrong?"

  


Mac looked up, but he knew that she wasn't looking at him, but was seeing something from the past. "I'm just trying to figure out what I'm going to say when Rachel asks what would have happened if I had kept her. Could I have dried up and made something out of myself with a child, or would we be living in shelters and out of our car? Would I be working on my eighth or ninth husband? Would I have walked out and left her anyway when she was older?" Her voiced broke on the last sentence.

  


"Mac, you are not your mother. Your mother left for purely selfish reasons. You were trying to take care of yourself, but there was a part of you that knew you could never do it and take care of Rachel too. You left her in a safe and loving home, your mother left you with a drunk and abusive father. And what has you mother managed to do with her life? Stop me if I'm wrong but the last time you talked to her, she was still drifting, living off of friends and relatives. She's not holding a job and supporting herself - she's relying on someone else to do it for her. You are ..."

  


"I know, Harm," Mac interrupted. "It sounds so reasonable when I think it and hear you say it. I just don't know how that is going to appear to a seventeen year old."

  


"We'll deal with that bridge when we cross it. And I'm going to be there with you to help you, unless you decide you want me to leave."

  


"Thank you," Mac sighed. This was going to be just as hard as she had feared, even though she was trying to be optimistic.

  


Once they were through, they walked out of the restaurant and over to Mac's corvette. "You drive again," she told Harm. "I'm not sure I can make it there without running us into a guardrail, my hands are shaking so badly."

  


Harm accepted the keys without complaint. When they were both seated and belted in, he reached over and took her hand again. "Whatever happens today is not your fault." Mac started to object, but he shushed her with a wave of his other hand. "What happened years ago is done and over with. She is the one who is seeking you out. This meeting is none of your doing and the outcome is NOT your fault. Don't you let her convince you otherwise." He grasped her chin lightly and turned her head so she was looking at him. "Trust me."

  


Mac smiled and sighed. "I have to Harm. I don't have anyone else."

  


That wasn't quite the answer he was expecting, but he chose not to pursue it right now.

  


They made the drive to the park in silence, but as they got nearer, Mac slid her hand over and gripped the hand he was resting on the gear shift. 


	10. Chapter 10

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

  


A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  


CHAPTER 10

  


After arriving at the park almost 30 minutes early, Harm and Mac walked the familiar paths hand in hand. They talked about nothing, and anything that they happened to think about. As they approached the pre-arranged meeting spot, Harm felt Mac tense. "Relax... breathe," he told her. He felt her try, and fail. As they came around the curve, they saw Kate and a young woman. Harm stumbled, and caught himself before he fell. He knew they were meeting Mac's daughter, but he hadn't expected this. It was as if he were looking at a mirror image of his partner, only years younger. "She... she looks like you," he stammered.

  


Mac was unable to respond. She had frozen and was staring at her daughter. **My God, she looks just like I did at that age.**

  


Kate moved forward to break the tension. "I know we're a little early." She took Mac's hand and gently pulled her forward. "Sarah, this is Rachel. Rachel, Sarah." They stared at each other for a long minute, each awed by the resemblance. 

  


"They could be twins," Harm finally found his voice.

  


That seemed to break the bond between Mac and Rachel. Mac opened her arms and asked, "Can I hug you?" Rachel didn't answer, she launched herself at Mac and nearly knocked them both to the ground. Both were crying and trying to talk at the same time.

  


"I thought you..." "I shouldn't have..." "Why did..."

  


Harm and Kate stood back and watched. "They're going to be ok," Kate said. "That's good. I was worried." 

  


She walked over and put a hand Mac's shoulder. "I'm happy for you guys, and I wish I could stay to enjoy the reunion. I got a call this morning that I need to deal with. They want to bring Jeff Corwin, from Animal Planet, in to tape a show; Chris and Martin from Zoboomafoo are coming to open the new lemur exhibit; and Steve and Terri will be in the states around Christmas. They're going to visit her parents in Oregon and they'd like to stop by here for a couple of days before they fly back. I need to make call on all of that and put my request for leave in early. I guess I need to make sure they aren't going to want to do any filming too. It's much cheaper to call them from the zoo. You guys have my cell number if you need anything." She glanced at Harm, "Can you guys give Rachel a ride back to the house later?"

  


Harm tossed the keys to the 'Vette to Kate. "We need to trade cars - we brought the 'Vette. I guess we weren't thinking this morning. Are you driving the Pontic?"

  


Kate handed her keys to Harm. "I should be home by dinner. Why don't I call Maria and tell her to expect you guys? We can trade cars then."

  


"Sounds like a plan. See you."

  


"Are you going to introduce me to this beautiful lady, Mac?" he asked, walking over to Mac and Rachel.

  


"Harm, this is my daughter," her voice broke, but she recovered, "Rachel. Rachel, this is Harmon Rabb - my partner at work and my best friend."

  


"Damn, he's hot!" Rachel said. Then covered her mouth with both hands, blushing. "Did I say that out loud? I'm sorry. I.. uh.. Oh God."

  


Harm laughed. "She is definitely your daughter, Mac." Thinking of her conversation with Sturgis when she admitted out loud that she loved Harm, Mac could only agree with him.

  


Looking at Kate, amused, she added, "He most certainly is. And behave yourself. He's taken," Mac looked at Harm to be sure, "I think."

Harm put his arm around Mac's shoulders. "Most definitely," he added.

  


"Have you been to DC before?" he asked Rachel. She shook her head, no. "Then why don't we hang around here for a while. We can play tourist and see al the monuments, go to the Smithsonian," he was interrupted by Mac.

  


"To see the Air and Space Museum?"

  


He sighed. "To see whatever. I was thinking Air and Space, but the Natural History Museum is also interesting. It's up to Rachel."

  


"I guess that's okay. Whatever you guys want to do is fine with me." She was still a little awed by her mother and the good looking guy she seemed to be hooked up with. Inside, she was wondering how permanent their relationship was, and trying to figure out how to ask all the questions she had cataloged over the years. Somehow, though, she knew that in time Mac, Mom?, would tell her whatever she wanted to know. Just knowing that this woman and been willing to see her and talk to her was almost enough.


	11. cHAPTER 11

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

  


Chapter 11

It was amazing how quickly the tension disappeared once they began the sight-seeing trip. It was still emotional, but the fear seemed to disappear. Mac never left Harm's side, but she and Rachel might as well have been in Guam. The few times Harm attempted to join their discussion the response was short, almost snippy. At first, Harm felt left out and a little jealous, but it didn't take him long to realize that he had an opportunity to see a side of Mac that never knew existed.

After they had parked the car and gotten out to walk the monuments, Rachel began asking the questions that Mac was afraid to answer.

"Why?"

That was the hardest. Mac knew the reasons she had then, but now it just didn't sound like it was good enough. 'Rachel, I don't know how much your mom told you, but I was really messed up at that point. I wasn't mature enough to be able to make decisions to take care of myself. And while I wasn't able to actually admit it, I knew that if I took you with me your life wouldn't be any better than mine had been. I didn't really know what I was going to do, or where I was going to go. I was an alcoholic and Uncle Matt helped me to dry out, but I didn't have any plan for he future that went farther than that." It was unnerving the way Rachel watched her, not speaking, as she tried to explain. "I had no job, no money, no education. And somewhere in my screwed up brain, there was a voice telling me that I couldn't do that you. That Kate's family was so much more normal than anything I could offer you."

"You were scared." 

"I was. For a lot of reasons. For you, for me, for what I was doing and what could happen to me when the police and social services got involved..."

"But they didn't."

"Apparently your mom managed to tap dance her way around them. I don't know how she managed it, I just need to thank her."

They climbed the stairs to the top of the Washington Monument in silence. While they were looking out the windows, Rachel asked the next question. "Did you love me?"

Harm thought Mac was going to cry, but she stiffened her spine like a good Marine and answered the question. "Sweetheart, I loved you more than anything else in the world. You were the best thing that had ever happened to me." Mac tentatively reached out and touched Rachel on the arm. If was the first physical contact between the two of them. "I can't tell you how much it hurt me to leave you that day. And how much it still hurts." She paused, took a deep breath, and continuted, "I cried myself to sleep every year on your birthday. I hoped that someday you would show up on my door, but I couldn't help but believe that you would hate me too much to ever do it." The tears began to trickle down Mac's cheeks, but she kept her rigid posture, like that was the only thing that was holding her together.

Rachel began to cry as well, "I never hated you. I always felt like something was missing, and it made me sad. I always wondered why I wasn't good enough for you to take me with you." Mac flinched. "Mom tried to explain how things were, but I never really understood. All I ever wanted was to hear you say that you loved me." Mac and Rachel embraced and stood at the top of the Washington Monument crying together. 

From there it was almost as if they had never been apart. They talked about Rachel's school, Mac career, boys... all the catching up things that friends talk about. When they stopped for lunch at one of the tourist-y cafes, Mac finally brought Harm into the "inner circle" they had created.

"Harm, I'm sorry, Rachel and I have been talking all morning and have pretty well managed to ignore you. Why didn't you say something?"

Harm laughed. "I tried a couple of time, and was pretty much told to sit down and shut up..."

"I never said that! I..."

"All but, Mac," Harm was still laughing. "It's okay. I think I learned a lot this morning." He turned to Rachel. " I don't think we were ever formally introduced. I'm Harmon Rabb, Jr. - a friend of your... of Mac's." He held out his hand to Rachel.

She took it lightly. "Obviously, I'm Rachel. You must be a good friend to put up with all of this today. And to be here after all the trouble I've caused. I guess I owe both of you an apology. Kate told me that it was going to be awkward, but I really felt like I'd been cheated, her hanging out with Sarah and all."

"It was certainly a surprise," Harm agreed with her, "but we worked through it, and maybe we all understand a little better now."

They ate in a companionable silence and spent the rest of the afternoon visiting the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Memorial, the Viet Nam memorials, and finished with a trip through the Air and Space Museum.

When they arrived back at Kate's, there was a new sense of family there. Kate's parents had raised Rachel as her sister, so she was Aunt Rachel to the kids. With Mac being her biological mother, the kids had granted her with family status as well. Apparently their welcome also included Harm because as soon as the stopped the car, all four children ran out of the house and mobbed them all. Kate came to the door and managed to herd them all inside for a wonderful dinner of Juan's ribbon-winning barbeque. When it was time to leave, Harm and Mac left to hugs all around.

Mac held Rachel and looked her right in the face. "Now that you've come back into my life, don't you dare try to stay away. Anytime you want to, you're welcome to stay with me. And if you need help with the airfare you let me know. I'm not going to go another 18 years without seeing you."

Rachel smiled, "Thanks, MOM," Mac gasped at the use of the title, "consider yourself welcome to show up at my place anytime you want to, too. I've got your phone number and email address so you can count on hearing from me probably more than you want."

Mac was smiling as well. "Never. We didn't talk about what we were going to do between now and when you go home. Did you want to get together tomorrow night? I have to go to work, but we can do dinner or something?"

"I'd love to. Call when you get home and we'll work something out."

On the way back to Mac's apartment, Harm reached over and squeezed Mac's hand. "That wasn't nearly as bad as I was afraid it was going to be."

"No, I had visions of it being so much worse. She's beautiful, Harm. What did I do to deserve a daughter who is so beautiful? And so loving and sweet?"

Harm kissed the back of her hand. "She takes after her mother," was all he said.

  



	12. Epilogue

JAG and it's character's don't belong to me. I'm only playing in Mr. Bellisario's world. Any characters NOT taken directly from JAG or making cameo appearances from other televison shows DO belong to me.

A/N: Thoughts are in *'s

EPILOGUE

After the surprise visit from Rachel, Harm and Mac went back to their normal lives. Almost. Mac talked to Rachel every week or so, and received emails from her almost daily. Even if it was nothing more than a forwarded chain letter it was enough to brighten Mac's day. Harm and Mac's working relationship was stronger than ever, and their working dinners had evolved into something akin to real dates. Six months after Rachel left, Harm suggested that the use the next four-day weekend for a trip to New York. They flew up on a commercial airline, stayed at the Crown Plaza at Times Square. During dinner that night, Harm pulled a small velvet box out of his inside pocket.

Very softly he asked, "Sarah, we've finally managed to come to a place where we are both wanting the same thing at the same time. We don't have any reason to run from each other anymore. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Even though he had never tried to pull away from her, she was still in awe that he could want to be linked to her, forever. "Are you sure?" she whispered.

"More sure than I have ever been," he responded.

Without speaking, Mac slowly gave him her left hand and allowed him to slip the beautiful ring onto her finger.


End file.
